Don't Say I Didn't Warn You
by PhoenixDragonDreamer
Summary: Trust the Doctor to turn the corner just as he was about to go screaming loony. He must have looked it, trudging up and down the corridors with just his swim trunks and a towel - but he was going to find that pool if it half killed him - or the TARDIS for that matter.


**Warnings: **No Spoilers, Silliness, Angst, Pool Shenanigans, Dub-Connish(?)**  
A/N: **Taken from this prompt by my lovely **gwendolynd**: '_Rory has never been able to find that damn pool the Doctor keeps bragging about having. On a hot day when the cooling engines are failing, Rory finally corners the doctor and demands. Well, Time Lord pools are unique. The water is special, after all it never spills out despite flopping around all of T&S. Why is the pool so special and why is the Doctor always so giddy or relaxed after his swims? Erotic water. Playtime pool. SOMETHING!_' Well, her wish was my command. And these scribblings happened to be the result. Cleaned up and edited a bit for readability. Also, I apologize for the Surprise!Angst. It was _suppose_ to be FUNNY. *Facepalm*

**Disclaimer(s): _I do not own the scrumptious Doctor or his lovely companions. That honor goes to the BBC and (for now) the fantastic S. Moffat. The only thing that belongs to me is this fiction - and I am making no profit. Only playing about!_**

* * *

It was _stupidly_ hot.

He didn't know what was wrong with the TARDIS, but after two years on board, She had finally gone completely on the blink and for god's sake, if he heard Amy keep going on about that bleeding swimming pool he was going to throw a wibbley. He had no idea why everyone else seemed to find this bloody pool (that seemed to be so bloody marvelous) and he couldn't, but it was too hot, the cool water in the shower was completely on the fritz, they were in vortex and...

It was about damned time he got a swim in, that's all he was saying.

Trust the Doctor to turn the corner just as he was about to go screaming loony. He must have looked it, trudging up and down the corridors with just his swim trunks and a towel - but he was going to find that pool if it half killed him - or the TARDIS for that matter.

"Rory!" The Doctor grinned, his grin becoming somewhat fixed and glassy when he took in Rory's clothing - or lack of it, if one wanted to be picky. "Amy didn't tell me you wanted to go to Space Florida. Though there is more sand than beach there and frankly, some of what you would call 'ocean' is slightly more carnivorous and decidedly scary – but we call him Ralph and I got on quite well with him a few centuries ago. Different face. Anyway, why are you dressed like that and looking at me like I've just eaten the last of the custard?"

Rory blinked at him with far more patience than he currently felt and waited his rambling out, smiling serenely even as the heat made him contemplate (for the first time since Ms. Wiggs next door set her bloody bobcat 'Tabby' loose on him when he was seven), murder in a variety of interesting fashions. He was a nurse. It wasn't a stretch, really – more taking apart than putting back together, but in backwards theory the principal was the same.

"Well, Doctor," he said finally when the Doctor twittered to a stop. "I am looking for the pool. You see, I've heard just _loads _about it, but I'll be damned if I've ever seen the bloody thing. Amy told me it was wonderful -"

"Oh, did she?" Innocently.

"- but I'll be bollocks'd if I can agree or disagree as I've been on this bleeding ship for almost two damned years and I haven't even seen so much as a pool chair around here."

The Doctor blinked at him, smiled, blinked again and tried for confused only to look more guilty then confused. He tried again for innocent, but it only looked furtive - so he blinked again and swallowed, tugging slightly at his bowtie, before composing his features into 'let me explain' - which didn't do much to help Rory's current mood.

"Ahhh, the pool...well, ahhh, you see - blimey, Amy found it, hey? Well - let's see if we can go find Amy and - have you tried a cool shower? It might make you feel a bit -"

"I'd _love_ a cool shower, Doctor, but you see - the coolant on this ship, where-ever that may be, seems to have gone on the blink along with the cool air and what-have-you. Thus, the search for the bleeding pool that somehow, I seemed to have missed for the last two years, but my wife _raves _about every chance she gets." Rory explained with slightly less patience. "So if you can help, in any way, I'd much appreciate it. Otherwise, I might start pulling out swords and things. It can get ugly from there - d'ya get me?"

"Well, I...I suppose I - you see, Rory," the Time Lord coughed, apology practically oozing from his ridiculous tweeds (and really, why wasn't he melting in that get-up?!) "The uhhh, pool - there's a problem and I really didn't think Amy's find it. I have no idea how she half-survived it, really - it's not an _ordinary _pool and frankly, Space Florida is a lot more fun, as long as Ralph is in a good mood and no one brings canapés - Ralph really hates those - so if you'd just let me -"

"Doctor," Rory said pleasantly.

"Yes, Rory?" Almost nervous, but willing to assume Rory couldn't break his arm in five places and not feel bad about it.

"Pool. Now."

"Rory -" And there he went with that puppy-face which always seemed to work on Amy, but rarely worked on him. Well, rarely being _now_while he wasn't currently sweating to death in a time machine that had lost its spacey version of freon two days ago. "Rory, let me explain -"

"Explain on the way to the pool and I'll be happy to discuss anything you'd like," Rory said twice as pleasantly.

"I can't because it isn't made for humans," the Doctor said stubbornly.

"Okay, now I'm getting impatient," Rory said, obviously stating the obvious. "What do you mean 'not made for humans' exactly?"

"Well, the water...it's made for Gallifreyians. And - well, I had the TARDIS install it just for-for me a few centuries ago because water slopping everywhere can get messy - and dangerous. Don't know how many times I had to replace that Dickens' Christmas Carol first edition. After a few centuries, it gets hard to do, trust me - " the Doctor rambled, only to be stopped when Rory grabbed his bowtie by both ends to vigorously shake him until his teeth rattled.

"I...Do...Not...Care," Rory said sweetly. "Pool. Now. Doctor."

"Rory -" the Time Lord protested, straightening his bowtie with an air of an affronted dowager aunt.

"No. _No_. I've seen you walk around here whistling after your swims." Rory said in a less threatening tone. "And yes, I know it was after you went swimming. Amy told me all about that pool and frankly, I don't give a bleeding toss about anything but wet and cool right now. So. Time-wimey or alien-based or filled with alligators, I want in that pool _now_."

"Alright, Rory," the Doctor said in a more subdued manner. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

**0-0-0-0-0**

Rory didn't see what there was to warn _about_, really. It was cool and refreshing - just what the nurse ordered - and the silky feel of the...whatever this water was (Time-Lordy water?) made his skin tingle and other bits...rather happy.

"This is brilliant," Rory murmured in an almost sleepy-relaxed purr. "Christ, this was just what I needed."

"Good," the Doctor called from his armchair (and yes, there really was a library in here). "Guess I'll be going then."

"No, c'mon in, Doctor," Rory called back. "Feels fantastic - sure you could use a good swim after all the stress me and the wife put you through."

"No, I...uhhh, really think that may be a bad idea, Pond," the Doctor said faintly. "This isn't a theory you want to test, either. And trust me, after you get out of here you may want to see Amy for a little while. For that...humany stuff you two get up to when you think I don't know."

"Doctor," Rory purred (oh, this was _heavenly_). "C'mere -"

"Rory," the Doctor sighed, pushing out of his armchair to skirt around the pool to the door. "Just...enjoy your swim - then see Amy, you'll thank me later."

Rory smiled wickedly and snagged his trouser leg as he passed, half-hopping out of the pool to grab that stupid jacket and haul the Doctor bodily in with him. Just for a laugh. And to see what those tweeds looked like soaked through. Mostly for that. Why did he think they were ridiculous before? They really made the Doctor look sexy, though he didn't suppose that was why he wore them. Then again, he was a sneaky one - and if Amy could get a kiss, why couldn't he?

Rory grinned in delight, giggling a bit when the Doctor hit the water with a strangled squawk, surfacing a few seconds later with that cute look of indignation and prudish disapproval and really - why did he find that look eye-roll worthy not too long ago? It really was cute. Especially since he was all soaked and - truly, if one was soaked, one should get out of one's clothing. Anyway, those tweeds looked heavy. It wasn't like he wanted to drown Amy's best friend.

The Doctor stared at him from under his water-logged fringe, eyes widening as he realized what Rory was intending to do, trying to back out of the human's range even as he tripped over his own feet and almost drowned himself. He bobbed up, sputtering incoherently and Rory took that as an opportunity that couldn't be missed, hauling him close by his lapels and sealing his mouth over the Doctor's before the Time Lord could raise a proper protest.

Ohh, those _lips_-

Rory's mouth tingled with coolness and something bitter-sweet when his mouth collided with the Doctor's - he didn't know what he was tasting, but it was delicious - and that cool mouth...

Should have just kissed the Doctor to begin with, really.

But the pool was nice, too.

Getting nicer by the second as the Doctor hummed under his lips, giving in as Rory deepened the kiss, needing more of that taste and -

The Doctor wrenched himself away, eyes wide (though he looked intrigued), unconsciously running his fingers over that full lower lip as if to keep _Rory's_ taste locked in, detangling himself from Rory's grip even as his focus sharpened on Rory's mouth.

"No, no - Pond, this is a bad idea, you don't want to do this -" he stammered and Rory felt more than slightly pleased. He had left the Time Lord practically speechless. If the kiss hadn't been absolutely fantastic (brilliant, really) he would have done it again just for the gawping look and airless squeaks from the Doctor alone. Priceless. Now he just needed to get that jacket off of him – maybe work on those trousers some. "Rory!"

"No, this is a magnificent idea," Rory purred. "Dunno why I didn't think of it before. Quit wiggling and let me get these wet things off of you -"

"Rory, you really, really don't want to do this," the Doctor protested, though he wasn't fighting as much with his limbs as he was his mouth - and Rory _wanted_ that mouth against his again. "I tried to warn you - Amy! _Ammmyyyyy_!"

"Why're you calling for my wife, Doctor?" Rory asked petulantly. "Ever thought I didn't want to share?"

"What?" He truly looked flabbergasted and it was the cutest thing. Just kissably adorable. "Rory-Rory, think about what you are saying. Ohh, I knew this was a bad idea, but I didn't know _how_ bad. Just bloody _fantastic _this is. Rory, why are you -"

"Oh, _do_ shut up," Rory rasped, backing him against the pool wall, damnable jacket halfway down the Time Lord's arms and this was just perfect - if he'd just stop _wiggling_. Or if he'd keep wiggling just. like. _that_. "Ohhh, that's _gorgeous _-"

It came out more of a hiss than a statement and the Doctor was blinking at him in dismay as he leaned in for another kiss. One taste and he was lost, coaxing the Doctor's mouth open just a little wider so he could slip his tongue just behind his teeth and -

Amy was a brilliant kisser (she's better be, since she's made a job out of it), but the Doctor was no slouch at this either. The Time Lord made an odd moaning noise under the press of Rory's mouth and stopped fighting him as Rory tugged his tweed off, tossing it haphazardly somewhere behind him, the wet slap of it hitting the tile floor hardly a thought as he reached between them to work the Doctor's trousers open.

"Rory," the Doctor breathed, twisting his head away for a moment. It just left easy access to his throat, which Rory went to work on immediately, teeth grazing just under the Doctor's jaw, pleased when the alien shivered against him. "Rory, remember Amy. You don't-you don't want to - Rassilon that's wonderful, _christ_ - no, no, no, Rory - _think_! I knew this was going to happen, I just...oh blimey, that feels so – _Rory_!"

"I'm not willing to share," Rory gritted, sliding his cock along the Doctor's hip - grinning when the Doctor's eyes rolled back in his head for a moment, slumping against Rory with a sweet whimper. "And I do believe you owed me that kiss -"

"Rory," the Doctor said, the sound airless and dry. "She's-she's your wife. Your-your _wife_, Rory. And you-you are under the influence of-of, oh god, stop it, _stop it _-"

Rory rocked his hips, marveling at the way the water, caressed over them both - liquid silky coolness and he had the Doctor's trousers open and no matter how much he protested, he was just as turned on.

"Tell me," Rory whispered into the curve of his jaw. "Tell me you don't want this."

"Rory," a weak protest, the Doctor's eyes bleak, even as he rocked back against him, eyes fluttering closed when Rory sucked a kiss at the corner of his jaw. "This-this water can…I want this, but you-you won't and I have to go, right now before something goes _horribly _wrong and -"

"Oh, shut up," Rory moaned, slicking his hands through the Doctor's hair, marveling at the feel of the man beneath his hands. "Right now, I just want you and I don't care about anything but how good you feel, how wonderful you taste and how gorgeous you are all wet and shivering and if you want this as much as I do -"

He slid his mouth back over the Doctor's, purring in delight when the Doctor pulled him closer, hips slotted together for the maximum amount of friction. The Doctor whimpered as Rory coaxed his mouth open, drawing him into a deeper kiss as they rocked together, Rory's hands anywhere he could reach before settling against the Time Lord's arse, pulling him up into each thrust of his hips.

Water slapped lightly against the slides of the pool, over their shoulders - the only real sound in the room beside the breathless moans of the two men as they pushed and slid against each other. Rory took delight in the firm give of the Doctor's body against his, the way the Time Lord trembled and gasped against him, kisses going from hesitant to hungry, hands clutching frantically at Rory as he neared climax.

"That's it," Rory rasped, voice thick with lust and a need so deep there was no name for it. "So gorgeous - want to feel you come."

"Rory," the Doctor gritted desperately. "I should...stop -"

He went to pull away and Rory shook his head in denial, holding him tighter and layering kiss after kiss along his throat, his mouth, his eyes. He was getting close himself, but he wanted to see the Doctor come apart, he wanted to see him shake and shiver and fight for breath. Nothing else really mattered. Nothing else was half as important.

"Never stop," Rory demanded, greedy and filled with a completely different heat, now. This one could only be cooled one way, just one. "Never. Let me - just let go, Doctor. Don't make me beg."

"I can't...Rory, I-" the Time Lord looked frantic now and hopelessly lost as he shook against him, a groan stuttering from is lips as Rory's fingers dug deeper into the firmness of his arse, hauling him in tighter.

The Doctor shook his head mutely, offering his lips for a soft kiss, his own hands searching for a grip before settling one Rory's hips. He sighed into the press of their mouths, eyes half-mast as he deepened the contact without coaxing, leaning more into Rory, fingers bruising against the human's flesh and he was close, Rory could practically _feel _it -

There was a flutter against the edges of Rory's mind, then almost golden flash slammed into his senses (all of them) as the Doctor let go - trying to get closer, even as he fought to get away.

"God," Rory croaked in awe, peppering frantic kisses against the Doctor's mouth and the lean lines of his neck as the Doctor came apart silently in his arms, Rory's name being mouthed into his hair, his jaw as the Doctor slumped against him. Rory wasn't far behind, his own orgasm blinding and intense in a way he had never thought possible - everything stretched to breaking, even as he was lulled and warmed by the silky brush of the water. Every cell seemed to shiver towards the Time Lord, and when he awoke from his daze, he was panting against the cool fever of the Doctor's throat, each breath a sob and a sigh at the same time.

He snapped back into himself and backed away, releasing the Doctor with a semi-splash, his eyes widening as he realized what he had just done. He had _molested _the man. The Doctor tried to warn him and he had ignored him and - god, how could he ever explain himself.

"Doctor, I," he licked his lips, forcing himself to look at the alien. "I shouldn't have, I can't believe I just -"

Something slammed closed behind the Doctor's gaze, the sweet contentment that shone from his eyes suddenly cut off, a flicker of that something bleeding through before the Time Lord looked away, his movements hesitant, almost lost. His mouth twitched downward for a moment before he managed a tired-looking smile, gaze sweeping over Rory even as he never truly _looked _at him.

"Perfectly alright, Rory," the Time Lord said quietly. "I didn't exactly get specific about the warnings, did I?"

He coughed and pulled himself out of the water and Rory was helpless to do anything but watch, something inside tugging at the dark mood that seemed to have dropped over them. The Doctor's fingers curled into his tweed jacket, and he fumbled with it for a moment, eyes everywhere but on Rory, smile wavering as he combed absent fingers through his wet hair.

"I'll just...I'll let you have at then, yeah?" The Doctor asked softly. "May want to get some time in alone with Amy afterwards anyhow, the recharge can be...distracting."

"Doctor -" Rory said stubbornly, something tugging at his heart, telling him he had missed something. There was more to this than just his having molested Amy's best friend - that what had just happened between them wasn't the real problem here.

"I won't say anything," the Doctor said sharply, his words cutting and quick. "I'm sure you'd like to forget about this, right? I-I won't...please, don't let me interrupt your swim. Get a couple of laps in for me, will you?"

He tugged on his jacket with the air of a man who hadn't quite figured out where he was, the gesture lonely and tired. He flipped his hair out of his eyes again and Rory shivered, his mouth dry, the water lulling and soothing and he just wanted those lips once more, just one more time -

"I'm sorry for," the Doctor started. "I'm sorry."

He left, back straight, shoulders bowed and Rory held his breath until he had the door closed behind him. He contemplated the water, now colder than he would have liked, any wish to swim evaporating with the faded falls of the Doctor's footsteps. He pulled himself out, almost relishing the heavy slap of heat that greeted him, tongue sweeping out the catch the last taste of the Time Lord on his lips.

"I'm not," Rory said to the empty room.

But there was no one to hear him.


End file.
